| A Ritual That Fosters a Positive Attitude |
My husband and I have three daughters. When I mention that to people, I usually get the same response: a comment on what we'll spend for weddings. I've yet to meet someone who really understands one of the biggest costs of providing for three teenage girls: stocking the house with feminine hygiene products.
I often joke that I should have bought stock in the Kimberly-Clark Corporation. A large chunk of our income goes to them anyway, so I'd like to get something in return.
I really shouldn't complain, though. Things could be worse. I could be spending wads of money on pain relievers, too. The media bombard adolescent girls with the message that menstruation consists of cramps, headaches, bloating and irritability. Advertisers encourage females to consume their products at the slightest bit of monthly "discomfort."
But I provided my girls with relief by a different means. I threw them period parties. When each daughter first began menstruating, our entire family celebrated her transition into womanhood. The ritual gave them a positive attitude toward their periods and taught them to appreciate their femininity rather than curse it.
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| You Might Say, 'Why Bother?' |
Generation after generation, American females have related horror stories of their first period. They recall shame, embarrassment, silence and confusion. But menarche shouldn't be that way. It should be a time of celebration as a girl becomes a woman, a positive rite-of-passage on her way to adulthood.
Early cultures understood the importance of honoring a girl's first period. The Greeks, Asian and Native American tribes and many others celebrated when girls became physically capable of bearing children. Elder women taught the girls what to expect and to be proud of reaching a developmental milestone.
In the United States, we not only leave the media to teach our girls what to expect from their period, we fail to mark the milestone. So, much like the placebo effect, many girls develop symptoms each month in response to what they "think" their period is supposed to be like, according to the advertisements. And they often resort to destructive behaviors--sexual or otherwise--to try to prove they've become women.
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| Party Time Guidelines |
When I decided to honor my daughters upon menstruation, there were no guidelines for such an event. But, because my girls eschew the sentimental and "corny", I created a down-to-earth ritual.
As soon as I learned the time had come, I announced a "Period Party" was in order. At dinner that evening, the girl-of-honor was presented with a seemingly appropriate Black Forest cake, a box of sanitary pads and "Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon"--Urge Overkill's rendition of Neil Diamond?s song--blasting from the stereo.
It wasn't anything fancy. But it promoted relevant conversation and marked the occasion in a tongue-in-cheek manner that was acceptable to the honoree.
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| The Results Are Clear |
My daughters have many friends who "sit out" of activities during their period or use it as an excuse for unacceptable negative behavior. I realize that some of them do suffer from true PMS symptoms, but not all girls do. Many of those same friends are also sexually promiscuous.
I believe our period parties helped prevent my girls from doing the same as their friends. I can't guarantee that. But if nothing else, we celebrated a situation that is too often shrouded in shame...and we had a good time eating our cherry-covered cake and singing at the top of our lungs. |
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