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Business Writing Tips from The Writing Center


Eliminate Wordiness - Step 2
May 24, 2007

Delete meaningless introductory phrases such as the common sentence openers listed below:



If these openers are meaningless, why do so many writers use them? Some use them out of habit; some, because "everybody else does."

Unnecessary phrases weaken sentences. In the following example, note how many words you have to read before you reach the sentence's meaning:
This is to inform you that travel expenses for field representatives have increased two percent in April.

Seven words! Why not "hit the ground running"? Start the sentence with "travel expenses."

Sometimes writers use opening words in an attempt to soften a harsh message. But these phrases don't soften the harsh message; they only postpone it. If you are concerned about the reader's reaction to your message, replace the meaningless phrase with words that provide rationale or benefit:
Because of increased customer contact that has led to increased sales, travel expenses increased two percent in April.

The sentence is effective because it provides rationale and describes a benefit.

NOTE: Retain meaningful introductory phrases such as "As you requested" or "As we agreed". These phrases provide context for the reader and focus attention on the reader or remind the reader of a partnership with the writer (we = you + I).


This edition was adapted from our Effective Business Writing Program. Previous editions may be read at http://www.uliveandlearn.com/newsletters/index.cfm.


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