Business Writing Tips from The Writing Center
Be specific! (Part 3)
August 16, 2007
Use objective
(factual) rather than subjective (opinionated) wording.
Why? Providing facts
makes your message informative, credible, and persuasive.
NOT: I contributed
SIGNIFICANTLY to a SUCCESSFUL XYZ project.
(Does the reader know the level of the contribution? Will the reader
know the criteria for success?)
BUT : I
DESIGNED, IMPLEMENTED, AND DEBUGGED the new orientation package
which RECEIVED THE 2000 COMPANY IMPACT AWARD.
This rewritten sentence is more specific, more visual, and thus more
persuasive.
Another way to ensure that wording is specific is to
support
statements with factual evidence. Use numbers and explain their
significance. As you review the following example, note how defining the word
"significant" and providing a baseline increase reader understanding.
NOT : Sales increased
SIGNIFICANTLY in the fourth quarter.
Rewrite 1 : Sales increased
five percent in the fourth quarter. (Here the writer uses
numbers--that's a good start, but the reader may not know what these
numbers mean.
Rewrite 2: Sales increased
five percent in the fourth quarter for a net growth of $250,000, making
us the leading U.S. sales region. (Now readers have a baseline to help
them understand the significance of the facts.)
Consistent wording also helps ensure precision and clarity.
Use standard, consistent terminology to refer to people's titles and
functions as well as to equipment and components.

Replacing a word with a synonym, just because you've used the word
several times, may confuse your readers. Changing a word suggests you
are now talking about something different. It is better to be repetitive
but clear, than to vary vocabulary and be confusing.
This edition was adapted from our Effective
Business Writing Program. Previous editions
may be read at
http://www.uliveandlearn.com/newsletters/index.cfm.
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