Business Writing Tips from The Writing Center
Flow and Format: Use transitional words (2)
October 4, 2007
Note in the following
examples how precisely used transitional words help the reader
understand the logical relationship of ideas.
NOT: The Company is under a hiring
freeze, AND no potential employees were
interviewed.
AND is the least
precise transitional word.
BUT: The Company is under a hiring freeze,
SO no potential employees
were interviewed.
SO more precisely communicates the cause/effect
relationship.
NOT:
We would like to have the flooring repaired following the installation
of additional electrical outlets. We are concerned about possible
damage to sensitive equipment in the area. No repairs are scheduled at
this time.
This paragraph is choppy and awkward to
read. No transitional devices provide flow and show the relationship
of ideas.
BUT:
We would like to have the flooring repaired following the installation
of additional electrical outlets. HOWEVER,
we are concerned about possible damage to sensitive equipment in the
area. THEREFORE, no repairs are scheduled
at this time.
Without these transitional words, the
reader might understand a different relationship between the
sentences:
"We would like to have the flooring
repaired following the installation of additional electrical outlets
BECAUSE we are concerned about possible
damage to sensitive equipment in the area.
HOWEVER, no repairs are scheduled at this time."
Transitional words help ensure that
readers understand the relationship of ideas in separate sentences.
Let's look at another way to relate
ideas in sentences:
When you use "this," "that," "these,"
and "those," repeat key words to link sentences.
NOT:
Attached are the Quality Improvement Team's 2007 quarterly reports on
successful enhancements in Operations. THESE
include only completed enhancements recommended by the QI team.
The reader may have to re-read the
sentences to answer his question. Repetition of the key word "reports"
enables the reader to understand the sentences with only one reading:
BUT:
Attached are the Quality Improvement Team's 2007 quarterly reports on
successful enhancements in Operations. THESE
REPORTS include only completed enhancements recommended by the
QI team.
This edition was adapted from our Effective
Business Writing Program. Previous editions
may be read at
http://www.uliveandlearn.com/newsletters/index.cfm.
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